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How often should you have sex…

Well, here we go again, a letter that I sometimes regard as my personal delusion of persecution, and sometimes as a change in generations of users. Well, definitely, once a year it definitely comes, dear:


Damn, how do I know how often it SHOULD be??? As much as they force, that’s probably what is needed. Otherwise they will be punished, right?

Another thing is how much you want and as much as you can – here are the possible options.

In sex, like in no other human science, there are no norms. If a temperature of 36.6 is considered NORMAL, if the presence of a penis usually means being male, then in intimate life these norms do not apply in any way. There are too many options relating to both ONE person and a COUPLE – physiological, mental, and social.

Therefore, in sexology, they somewhat slyly resort to dividing into DIFFERENT norms: age, physical (according to the sexual constitution), social, etc. But the most important norm is the COUPLE: what THIS couple likes, and not their neighbors or antipodes.

So, according to AGE norms, the frequency of sexual activity in a permanent couple

(if they have:

a good relationship,
no one bothers them
no one forces them to fulfill their marital duty,
both are healthy
don’t worry about infertility or unwanted pregnancy, etc.)
– so, this very frequency is

at 20-35 years old 5-8 times a week,
at 36-45 years old 4-5 times a week,
at 46-55 years old 2-4 times a week,
at 56-60 years old 1-2 times a week, etc.

These indicators are adjusted according to the strength of the sexual constitution: the frequency of sexual activity in men with a strong sexual constitution can be 3-4 times greater than in men with a weak sexual constitution.

Plus, adjustments for social conditions: villagers live a little more often than city dwellers (probably out of boredom?), and the higher the level of education (especially for women), the less likely they are to have desires…

As a result, the statistical norms are left with pitiful stubs – too many factors act simultaneously. Therefore, the norm for THIS couple is what satisfies both of them.

This is where comparisons begin: you are a maniac and you are frigid; you are impotent – and you are a nymphomaniac… Well, about the ability to negotiate – another time, but who is who in this dispute is completely unclear.

Perhaps it makes sense to count backwards.

The natural rhythm of sexual life for a MAN is considered to be one in which he does not suffer from constant arousal, but also does not resort to additional measures to achieve an erection and orgasm (love play does not count – we are talking about stimulants). In addition, you can evaluate the duration of intercourse: if sexual intercourse is too frequent, the time from insertion to ejaculation is delayed, and if it is too infrequent, it is sharply reduced.

On the third hand, “abstinence” is also a very vague concept. The only criterion for the harmfulness or harmlessness of abstinence is its subjective tolerance.

Therefore, a man with a weak sexual constitution can easily and without harm to his health endure longer abstinence than a man with a strong constitution, who after a couple of days or weeks of abstinence begins to experience pain in the scrotum, his head is filled only with sexual fantasies, and all behavior is gradually reorganized into searches. ways for sexual release.

So there is no NORMAL rhythm of sexual life – there is only a comfortable frequency, and how to achieve it is an even more individual question.